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A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don't result in forward movement.The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. But the partner, who's committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love.Our automatic response is to chase when the "other" pulls away.What was once readily available is suddenly gone, and no matter how hard we try to regain our partner's former affection, it now seems beyond our reach. They don't need more time to figure out their emotions. The phases of Hot and Cold: The "hot" phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition. Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person.I know it’s not her style, but, selfishly, I wish her actions showed it as much as her words. She doesn’t deserve someone who is unsure about her. My whole life has been turned inside out from this crazy experiment. It’s been a while since I’ve let a woman in, and I do want to share my life with the right person. In mythology, once an adventure is over and the reward has been secured, the hero or heroine usually leaves the “special world” to go back to the world where he or she first began.

Relationship hiccups occur because your partner is emotionally invested, but scared. Once stated, the hot phase normally reboots and continues with forward movement.

The beautiful truth is that this has nothing to do with you. There's nothing you did, or didn't do, that's causing this.

Don't let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise.

They have lived to tell their story, and to inform society. While I do feel heartbroken right now, I feel a tremendous amount of hope for my future. We did, however, agree that everything would be okay no matter where we go from here.

I thought of that Bob Dylan song where he says, “I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul.” And I know that what I could offer right now would never be enough for someone like Jessie. I love her, yet I know there’s nothing else I can do.

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