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This victim mentality is the result of immature and distorted reasoning or thinking errors in troubled children and adults.Thinking errors allow this kind of woman to blame others for her own behavior, not take responsibility for her actions and not make positive changes.It only takes on person to help another in need one random act of kindness at a time.Have you ever wondered why your abusive wife, girlfriend or ex blames others, makes excuses or rages when you question her behavior? When she’s angry, does she say “not fair” and that nothing’s her fault?For example, you confront your girlfriend with something hurtful she’s done like being rude to your family. You always blame me when things go wrong with your family. These behaviors and distorted beliefs are indications of “[her] inability to communicate, [her] inability to solve problems and [her] world view that [she’s] a victim and ‘it’s not fair.’ If things aren’t fair, then the rules about cursing at people or breaking things don’t apply to [her], because it’s not [her] fault. These kids [and women] have a way of thinking that justifies violating other people’s boundaries and that sees them as a victim of everything.When you try to interfere with or challenge that kind of thinking, these kids [and women] will get more upset, threatening or destructive” (Lehman, Empowering Parents).Even if you wanted to do so, it’s highly unlikely she’ll allow you to hold her accountable.

There is usually a sequence to how these maladaptive problem-solving behaviors play out. They don’t resolve problems; they make problems worse.Lehman recommends that parents who identify these behaviors in their children break the pattern by challenging their distorted thinking, setting boundaries and enforcing consequences. As a parent you can make rules, enforce them and model good problem-solving skills.But what do you do when it’s your wife or girlfriend who is acting out aggressively and abusively?Jul 18, Jul 25, Aug 01, Aug 08, Aug 15, Aug 22, Aug 29, Sep 05, Sep 12, Sep 19, Oct 03, Oct 10, Oct 17, Oct 24, Oct 31, Nov 07, Nov 14, Nov 21, Nov 28, Dec 05, Dec 12, Dec 19, Dec 26, Jan 02, Jan 09, Jan 16, Jan 23, Jan 30, Feb 06, Feb 13, Feb 20, Feb 27 Helping homeless outreach team in Calgary, every Wednesday at 3-5 pm.We help those most vulnerable sleeping on the streets help access resources including, food, housing, detox, shelter and more.

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Well, you could, but then she’d claim you’re trying to control and abuse her, so what do you do?

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